Christmas & PMR Results Day

This post is mostly about me ranting... and ranting... and ranting.

Oh yes, Christmas is here! I have been anticipating Christmas..
But after I heard that the PMR results day was on Christmas Eve.. honestly, I didn't feel very good about Christmas anymore
Yes I know, Christmas is not about my exam results but it's about Jesus! So whatever I get, I must learn to believe that whatever the results are, I must not sulk over it.

Yeah I keep telling that to myself but in the end, it just goes back to... "I won't get straight As... this is so going to ruin my Christmas."
I don't know, I mean.. I have tried being optimistic and positive about my results, but it's just not working at all. I have really low confidence when it comes to results. This happens everytime I sit for an exam, and I never get over it.
Remember the piano exam? I practically freaked out after the exam and kept telling myself I won't pass... I'll fail. But in the end, I got a merit, which was TOTALLY unexpected and came from nowhere. I would have never expected I would pass, let alone a merit!! Lol, I'm not trying to brag but seriously..
I am really thankful to God for this.. It's a miracle!!!

I just hope my PMR results would be something like my piano exam results. I expect it to be really bad, but in the end it turns out to be really good :D
Sigh, getting bad results would be more painful than a physical slap on my face Or hitting my head on the glass . It would really disappoint me and my parents. I keep telling myself, "I tried my best.. I studied as hard as I could. I can't do anything anymore, there's no use crying over spilt milk". But I mean, who would feel good after getting bad results right?? I'm just afraid that the results will affect my Christmas spirit.

I remember UPSR. It was still pretty clear in my mind. I got 4 over 5As.. I cried for two nights straight, curling up in my bed and didn't want to leave the room (kinda). I am a freakin' neurotic!!
I hope I don't do the same for PMR. If not, I would miss Christmas this year, and I so don't want that.

You know the thing they always say.. "If you think you can, you can". Sorry la, I honestly think I can and cannot at the same time. And if that was true, I am so dead.

Haha, and Christmas caroling would be at night. I'm very sure.. people will be asking me how my results were. Lol, no lah I don't mind you guys asking. If I got good results, haha, I obviously wouldn't mind telling you! But if I don't get good results, I don't know what to say. I don't think I even want to open my mouth. I'll just prepare a card which says my results and flash it to anyone who asks. I shall consider that :P

Whatever my results are, I must concentrate on the future.. seriously must study extra hard next year . Everytime I get this kind of motivation, it just fades away and I become as lazy as a pig again.

My goodness, I really have a messed up mind...

I'll probably be writing another Christmas post another day. See you then :)