Hoarder problems

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I was cleaning up my drawer today, and realized I have so many things I didn't need. So much junk. SO MUCH DUST. Which meant I haven't touched them for a long time.

Among the mess was:
a) many dusty notebooks which were all almost empty except for a few pages of scribbles
b) memorabilia from almost every single trip or major event I've been to like concert tickets, keychains and restaurant paper bags (forreal carmen, forreal?)
c) empty envelopes which contained sentimental content which came from far away lands and from various places
d) a lot of old greeting cards - Christmas, birthdays, Chinese New Year
e) things that were meant to be given to other people, but I forgot and kept it for years :D

This only proved my suspicion right - I AM A HOARDER. I always feel the need to keep something... anything, from a major life event. I have a book of stickers from almost 10 years ago with stickers I never got to use throughout my childhood, simply because they weren't needed anymore (I am however, very proud of my collection). Some I even kept out of obligation. Maybe it's because as time eludes us and things change, you want to hold on to something that reminds you of the good old days.

Well one day, I just cleared it all up. I threw away old things tied to good memories, to make room for new ones. It wasn't easy for me, to give up things that had sentimental value. It's not in my nature to let go. As David Foster Wallace said, "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it".  I felt guilty! But I wanted to teach myself a lesson as well, to cast away all the mess in my life to create space for better things. I'm learning how to detach, or not so easily attach myself to things and memories in the first place.

Granted, I did keep some things of course like postcards, polaroids and stuff I couldn't throw away because they were significant & important to me, but I think half of the overall amount of things I had went into the trash. De-cluttering felt slightly liberating. But don't expect me to do it often ;)

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