Updates + PULP

Hi all!!! I know, it's been a long time. Not like anyone is reading or waiting for me to post anything but hello vast internet space, how ya doing?

If you remember, I broke my ankle a little more than a year ago. Shit got real - I couldn't walk for months, went for grueling course of physiotherapy and I just had all my ankle's screws and plate fully taken out few weeks ago. Definitely don't miss those times.

Now I'm back baby, however not in full force because I have screwholes in my bones and I can't run/jump for half a year but hey, at least this time I can walk. I had Ellie Goulding serenading me to anesthesia-induced sleep in the O.R with "Love Me Like You Do". I felt light headed and like the last time, BAM fell asleep. Woke up horribly nauseated unlike the last time where I felt like I woke up from a fulfilling sleep, but this one felt more like a extremely horrible hangover (would be the first I've ever had).

Also in less than a month, I will be embarking on a new chapter of my life: AUSTRALIA. So I'm getting ready to head off to the land down under, filled with extremely good-looking/fit people and mysterious cringe-worthy insects - both of which I'm intimidated by.

Also had a catch-up with some ex-uni mates after a long time recuperating at the hospital and at home. And I'm so impressed by the the photography opportunities at PULP by Papa Pahelta (Bangsar). The most important thing in photography to me is the lighting. Without good lighting your pictures will suck. Sure, editing can save it but it will never reach the full potential good lighting can bring to a photo. And what better lighting than natural light from the sun y'all. Now count how many times I mentioned the word 'lighting'.

One thing I disliked was that in spite of the large space they had, there was still lack of seats. Also, they need blinds for one of their big windows. At this time of the year, the sun is out to play and it is just too glaring and hot to sit at that location (and we couldn't move because of lack of space!)

Nitro coffee. First few sips in, surprisingly light unlike Bean Reserve's.

Very rich and decadent chocolate truffle cake. Very pretty but not the best chocolate cake around. 

Impressive latte art on hot chocolate.

This is the Hartmann Lot 22. She's smooth.

Not my salad.

Smell y'all later.

Broken Ankle Pt. 3: Week 5-12 Recovery

Hi everyone! It's been a long, challenging few months trying to adapt to a broken ankle, but as you can see I'm still alive lol and I do think the worst is behind us. As of today, I can currently walk but with a limp which I have to get rid of by trying to make sure my right foot (the one the broken ankle is supporting when I walk) takes the same time to land as my left foot. I tend to land faster on my right foot which is essentially why I'm limping. I just can't seem to balance myself because my muscles are weak, but it's a work in progress! It feels like I'm hitting a plateau really.

Warning: Many disgusting photos of my leg ahead :P

1. Walking boot
The doctor I'm seeing recommends I don't use a walking boot because "he doesn't believe in using the boot". Well while I understand that maybe he's going for a less financially burdening approach, I was worried it might impede with my healing process and isn't making me put excess pressure when I bear weight without a boot. But so far, I'm dong okay without the boot.

2. Slip N' Slide FALL
85% of the times I slipped it was because of my slipper. It lived up to its name because it literally became a slipper for me, always making me slip and fall, giving me more pain as if I wasn't already in pain. Getting rid of that wretched footwear (for now)!!! Don't know why I didn't do that earlier, I gave it the benefit of the doubt. It brought nothing but pain. I found a better alternative: I converted to wearing sport shoes and hadn't slipped since then. Planning to invest in some good quality footwear for once like Birkenstock. Having flat feet doesn't help.

3. Scarring/Dry skin
My skin was extremely dry from being in a splint for so long. But after a while my skin started to peel and the dryness is gone :)

Somehow there is a dark brown blotch with a pink centre directly at my spinal anesthesia injection site from my last ORIF surgery. It may be a hyperpigmented scar. I only found out about it on week 6 post surgery because how often do we look at our backs in the mirror. Maybe it was because of the abrasiveness right after the injection, but I was not expecting a scar. It's not giving me any pain or discomfort at all, and it's... just there. And the fact that it's there bothers me!

My scars from the surgery on my ankle are still healing. I'm afraid they may turn to keloid scars because the scars seem to be 'raised' and not flat :( I have one obvious keloid scar on my chest so I guess I'm more susceptible to more keloid scars. Let's hope not!

Below is a comparison of my foot from week 5 to 10. The awesome process of healing <3

 

4. Muscle atrophy
My calf muscles are still atrophied! Thinking of the muscles and fitness I tried to gain during 2014 all gone is kinda sad.

Atrophied left leg compared to normal right leg

5. Syndesmotic screw removal
Took out my syndesmotic screw on week 6. This time for surgery, I opted for general anaesthesia, where they put me to sleep. I tried epidural so now I wanted to try general anaesthesia. Definitely less painful of course, only the part where they put in the IV line hurt like a mother.

It was such an interesting experience. The first stage was induction, and they put in some drug in my IV line, and 5 seconds later I felt light-headed. I was surprised at how fast the drug traveled through my blood stream. It was a very psychedelic moment lol. The room felt like it was rotating. And then they put on the breathing mask let me breathe in the drugged air and I couldn't remember when or how I fell asleep. Not really even a gradual sleepiness. Just bang, I was asleep. There's just something about anesthesia induced sleep that feels really good. I think it's the instantness of rest. Nowadays sleep doesn't come easy for me. And to just fall asleep and slip away from consciousness without pain like that felt relieving and somewhat relaxing. I'm weird that way :/ I woke up outside the O.R, feeling tired and a tiny bit nauseous. Once again, thank God I didn't suffer from intense nausea or a sore throat.

I read online, and usually people take their syndesmotic screws out like at least on week 8 to ensure everything is joined and healed. Apparently taking it out on week 6 is pretty early? Oh well it's out already anyway.

6. Learning how to walk/Physiotherapy
My range of motion (ROM) was pretty limited in the beginning. Apparently the first time my physiotherapist (PT) saw me she said I could only move my ankle to a 90 degree angle (neutral), and that was it. I couldn't move my ankle up and down (dorsi/plantar-flexion). I was gutted, but I knew this was the beginning of my healing process and there will be improvement if I worked hard. Right now it feels as if it's not improving at all and I'm worried it may be due to too much scar tissue (worst case scenario - I'd have to go for another operation to remove the scar tissue).

Starting to take your first steps (with crutches of course) after not bearing weight on your leg for 6 weeks will be pretty terrifying. I'm always afraid of pain, and I always think that I might break my already-fragile ankle again. So far, after 6 physiotherapy sessions, I'm able to walk without crutches (with a limp)! It still gives me a dull ache or feel like my tendon is stretching whenever I bear weight, which I hope will go away. I needed my physiotherapist to teach me how to walk properly, as if I forgot how to walk! I was swaying too much, my hips were leaning towards the right too much, my knees were too straight... all without me even realizing it after not walking normally for about 2 months. And so the day after I was given full weight bearing exercises, my muscles everywhere ached! My hip, my butt, even my good leg hurt (which I assume is normal due to my lack of activity). Almost like 1 step forward, 2 steps back. But it's all the process of recovery.

Also, the area where my Achilles tendon always hurts and is always very sore. My PT said I experienced shortening in my tendon from being in a splint on my left leg for so long. I also have scar adhesion at the stitches site, where my tissues are stuck to the bone, and is not letting me do ankle inversion to its full potential which sucks and impedes my rehab process. My PT gives me these extremely painful massages along my left calf muscles to help it not be so stiff. She makes me rotate my ankle at the same time! I shudder at the thought of the pain. It leaves my calf feeling very bruised for the whole week. It's like she finds pleasure in my pain.

My ankle was initially swelling pretty badly. But after around week 9, after listening to my PT's advice to apply ice (which I'm not sure helped or not), my swelling has significantly gone down. It used to swell up a lot after half a day of putting my leg down, but right now it doesn't swell as much (still does, but not as badly as before). Not sure if it's because I'm starting to bear weight or because of the ice. Either way, I'm glad the swelling went down because it was so troublesome when I had to go out or go for classes and worry about how badly my leg will swell.

The worst of my swelling during the early weeks of my recovery. GAH CANKLES!

Swollen foot as of today! Still swollen but not too horribly bad. At least I can see my veins now!

Doing dorsi, plantar and inversion flexion exercises at home with a theraband helps. I credit my recovery to my PTs! Because of them, I am able to walk again. They're awesome :)

1 of the 4 ankle exercises I usually do

My PT gives my ankle musculoskeletal ultrasounds before I start my exercises as well, known to vibrate the ankle tissues and scar tissue.

7. Itching
Oh man. This is the worst. Of course I was expecting a little itch and there after removing my splint which had been on for 6 weeks, with all my dirt and dead/dry skin accumulated in that small space. But I did not expect the itching to be THIS INTENSE. It is SO itchy. And worst thing is it's not only on my left leg. It's on my right leg as well. And on week 9 of my recovery, my arms are starting to itch as well. I've had keratosis pilaris for as long as I can remember, and usually doesn't itch that much. But now it's itching up a storm. I hate this! I feel so frustrated all the time because it's itchy and the more I scratch it, the more raw my skin becomes and it gets so ugly. I feel like killing someone.

During the early recovery process I've had petechiae (flat red dots) on my leg too (which is normal because my doctor didn't make an issue out of it).

Ehmagerd my hairy petechiae-filled leg.

Post week 10, the itching is going down. Still not sure if it's allergy to antibiotics or whatever that's toxic in my body, but I'm glad it looks like it's not here to stay because it has overstayed its welcome. One fine day in week 11, the itching came back with a vengeance when I went out for lunch. The funny thing was I didn't even eat anything for breakfast. So I think that indicates that the allergy is not due to my food. Could be the heat, or stress? I don't know. I tried everything from H-Cort/Egoderm ointment to oral antihistamines but these are all short-term solutions. The itch comes back unpredictably from time to time which sucks because I could be in class one day and feel super itchy. Also something I need to consult with my doctor.


8. Laziness
I have become extremely lazy. I could take the extra effort to walk to whatever I need to get or do, but after 2 months of not being able to do that, my body doesn't want to do it anymore. I think one of the best things about breaking your ankle is not having to do chores (look at the bright side, right?). I didn't have to do anything actually. But now that I'm healing and I will soon have the ability to do those things again, I don't want to lol. As if I wasn't lazy enough before I broke my ankle! This is laziness at its best.

9. Adhesions
Yup I have tissue adhesion, where the 2 scars on the side of my ankles are stuck to my bone :/ I'm told to massage the scars whenever I can to tear it away from the bone.

Other than the whole broken ankle tragedy, now that it's slightly less inconvenient for me to do things, I've joined the Edgewiz investment simulation competition and the Maybank Go Ahead challenge! Not that I'm expecting to win them because I know nothing about investments or banking, but it would be a good experience for sure. Trying to be busy so I can distract and get my mind off things I shouldn't think so much about.

Also, the plan to go to the US in May/June is formulating! Tickets are bought, and rough itinerary is set. Here's to hoping my ankle doesn't try to be a party pooper for me during the trip :/

Broken Ankle Pt. 2: Week 1-4 of bed rest and boredom

I entered and ushered in the year of 2015 with trepidation and sadness. Not every New Year's has to be happy and positive. Not saying that we shouldn't be optimistic, but we have every right to be sad, bitter and negative when we need to be I guess.

I am titanium!

Things you have to acknowledge during the beginning of your broken ankle journey:

1. Emotions
Having a broken leg, can get pretty emotional. Especially for people like me who feel guilty because my parents and grandparents have to do all kinds of things for me because I'm basically a handicap right now. It's tough. I'm also too hard on myself a lot of the time. I'm honestly feeling depressed. It's because of something else, but the bed rest and being stuck at home not being able to do anything adds salt to the wound. Things you used to love to do lose their appeal, the novelty of certain activities start to fade... and now nothing helps distract you from your overthinking mind and sad, cruel life. But! Don't let that get to you. Distract yourself, keep yourself busy....

2. Going out (including wardrobe)
And for me to go out, I have so many factors to consider/research about that I previously didn't even need to think about so much.
a) Whether the ground is even
b) Are there stairs/steps?
c) Is it going to rain or is the ground going to be wet/slippery?
d) Is there enough space in the restaurant for me to use my crutches/wheelchair?
e) Is there an elevator for convenience?
f) Is there disabled parking (if I choose to go to a mall)?
g) Is the location very far and do I have to walk a lot?
h) I can't wear pants/skirts anymore and I'm only left with shorts, but nothing matches?!

It's crazy. If it was raining, then I don't think I need to consider going out anymore because of how wet and slippery it's going to be for me. I slipped 3-4 times already, especially almost every time I walk up that slippery slope of death. It's so tired to get out of the house and get back. How sad is my social life. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's just really inconvenient, risk of re-injury is high and takes a lot of effort. And because of that I'm missing out on a lot of gatherings and outings :(

And your choice of wardrobe or outfits will significantly shrink. All you can wear now is shorts. I can't wear skirts or dresses because they're too short! Considering how inelegant and un-ladylike I am especially while using my crutches, it's best to stay away from skirts. Can't even wear jeans because of the splint/leg.

My parents brought me out for dinner one night, and it was so hard to pick a place to eat because the location mustn't have stairs, the ground must be even, the place must be easily accessible. And not to mention, it was raining. So when I actually got out and ate out, I felt good. The Wong Kok restaurant in Leisure Mall, great place for people using crutches to eat because it's right in front of the passenger-dropping area. Then of course, I came back home to a wet, slippery uphill slope to the entrance of my house and slipped... accidentally and instinctively putting weight on my non-weight bearing leg and it hurt like hell. It was traumatizing, I felt like I never wanted to ever go out again to avoid that from happening another time lol. It has also instilled a fear of stairs and slopes for me.

3. Recovery time/Cost
I'm really hoping nothing got moved inside my leg, everything is the way it should be and I'm not retarding in progress, because I cannot afford another x-ray and trip to the doctor's office which costs a bomb. This whole journey, I'm gonna have to worry about all that. As if the cost for everything isn't expensive enough and the time taken to fully heal isn't long enough. It's like being in prison, for example I'm sentenced to jail for 6 years, I definitely wouldn't want to add another 2 years on my jail sentence because 6 years is long enough.

4. Diet
It's bad enough I can't go out anymore... I can't even eat certain types of foods! The Western doctor is sympathetic, as he says I can anything I want. Not so many restrictions, except for eggs and seafood which is to prevent pus and pain for the wound. Chinese doctor said I couldn't eat spicy, sour and cold food. My very Chinese family also mentioned I had to stay away from chicken, beef and lamb. So basically, I can only eat fish, fruits and vegetables. I'm not ready to become a pescetarian, I miss my meat! And guys help me out here... oranges should be good for you because they contain a lot of antioxidants and Vitamin C which makes sense, however my family is telling me I can't eat oranges because they're sour (which I've been ignoring). Clash of information from the east and west. Also, I read that people recovering from these sort of injuries require 3x more the usual intake of calories as the bone, ligaments and tissue heal. Not sure if that's true. But I do admit, I feel hungry more often than usual.

5. Emotional Support
I did not realize, that there was a whole different world online when it came to people who suffered from broken limbs. One website I found extremely helpful was MyBrokenLeg.com. It was basically a community for people who broke their legs/ankles like me and found comfort in group support. There are diaries and recounts of their difficulties/trials, and also forums for us where we can post our insecurities, worries and questions, where people who faced the same predicament as us would respond with helpful advice. It's great to see such supportive communities, which are much needed in these trying times. It's common for general melancholy and depression to easily creep in because of the inability to the things we used to be able to do so effortlessly. We take it for granted! You never know how important it is until it's gone, and in this case it's my left leg. Also, thank God for Google.

6. Atrophy
Since the leg muscles are so unused because we're immobilized, we need certain exercises to break the cobwebs forming in our bones and muscles. My left leg calf muscles have already atrophied. It shrunk and looks really odd without that little bulge of muscle.

7. Nausea/constipation
I think I lucked out in the nausea area, because I've been reading how people feel horrible nausea/constipation and grogginess after consuming painkillers because their pain was unbearable. I am the first person you would think of to have nausea because I get dizzy so very easily. But surprisingly this time round, I did not suffer any nausea because of the leg, yay!

I do however, get nausea more when I travel in cars now for some reason. Mum drove me to Damansara one day and I just felt so nauseated during/at the end of the journey that I was close to puking. Not sure why, maybe it's because I haven't been in a long distance car journey for such a long time.

8. Sleep
I barely am able to sleep at night due to the horrible, sharp tingling pains from my heel/Achilles tendon area, ugh. I've been reading online and it also could be nerve damage?! What?? Or optimistically - it hurts from the constant pressure of resting your foot (which I think is what it is). Worst thing is, this is something painkillers can't help with. My doctor already put padding below my heel but it still hurts UGH.

9. Learning
I am the type of paranoid person, who would research (more like google) extensively about a certain topic before I delve into it or before I have to face it. Every single sensation I feel, I google it up and see what could be the potential diagnosis, and then freak myself out lol.  Basically, I'm a chronic worrier and I panic too much. But I learned new acronyms and terms like FWB and PWB, which meant full-weight bearing and partial-weight bearing. PT was physical therapy. I am now more familiar with the anatomy of my leg. I'm learning and educating myself with all these new things!

10. Mode of transport
I've also mastered the art of hopping around with one leg to get things or to get to the toilet. Crutches can get very tiring after a minute or two of continuous usage. Every step is deliberate and calculated to make sure you don't slip and fall. I wish I had a knee walker or wheelchair.

Talking about wheelchairs, they're pretty inconvenient too if you're going out somewhere. If there are steps, someone has to carry the wheelchair up. The wheelchair is so large there may not be space for you to wheel yourself to places. Therefore I use the crutches more often even though it's definitely more exhausting and gives a higher risk of re-injury.

11. Facilities/Driving for the disabled

I commiserate with people who have physical difficulties. You know how restaurants have features like being 'kid-friendly', all places should be 'handicap-friendly' too. The number of places I can't go because of it's uneven ground and stairs...

The doctor also gave me permission to drive, but of course to be extremely cautious. I was hoping to be able to go to malls, but am reminded of how tiring it is to walk with crutches. I thought it would be a breeze because I learned how to use crutches fairly quick, but it is indeed tiring. Your arms hurt after a while from having to put force to lift your whole body off the ground on every step. Your functioning leg gets worn out from balancing and well, just having to support yourself! 

Wheelchairs would be easier of course, but also slightly inconvenient because someone has to be pushing you and attracts more attention IMO.

12. Hygiene, specifically showering

This topic deserves a whole part to itself. Showering is hell for me. Not only do I need to make sure I don't slip and fall in a wet bathroom, I can't get my left leg wet. To prevent that, I have to wear a plastic bag on my left leg. To shower I have to sit down on a chair. Most importantly, I have to make sure the water doesn't touch my leg so I have to direct the shower head away from my leg. Then, putting your clothes on is a chore as well while you sit. I took being able to shower standing up for granted. Appreciate it! 

1 week post-surgery, I already felt restless and my desire to go out was at an all-time high especially during the Christmas/New Year season. I'm stuck in the confines of the upper floor of my house. I'm torn between wanting to rest up and heal as fast as possible, and hanging out with my friends. The fact that I can't play bowling, laser tag or any other sport for that matter... is depressing. Most of the time I choose to stay at home because honestly I'm afraid I might fall or further hurt my ankle if I go out. Better safe than sorry?

Here is a long list of websites and documents useful for recovering from foot/ankle surgery.
Here is a specific list of foods that are suppose to be good for the healing process, besides the usual obvious food like milk and nuts.

Here is where I described my feelings post-surgery.

So, now I'm suddenly an expert in bone breaking and ligament tearing thanks to Google and my paranoia. Also NEED my leg to heal at least before May so my trip to the US isn't cancelled... I would be so devastated if I couldn't go.

I'm going to have to remove the syndesmiosis screw (the longest screw connecting my tibia and fibula bones) soon. Not exactly worried about the surgery, but more worried about the effects post-surgery like the incision pain and side-effects from anesthesia. Will keep you posted.

Underestimated Predicament - Broken Ankle Pt. 1

Sooooooo turns out I didn't sprain my ankle. It's funny how at the end of my last post, I mentioned that my pain didn't feel like pain from a sprained ankle but it felt like something else.

This was what it looked like after the earlier bandages were taken off. Bruises on the side of my ankle was a sign of torn ligaments I think?

Turns out my fibula is fractured causing my talus bone in the ankle to dislocate. Also, I had torn ligaments. Listen to what your body is telling you, people! This was more serious than I thought it was.

My underestimated injury required surgery called ORIF (Open Reduction Internal Fixation), where they had to insert a metal plate, which held 6 screws drilled into my bones to straighten the broken fibula plus re-position the talus bone for recovery. The doctor also had to do ankle ligament reconstruction on my ligaments that tore.
Thankfully, the surgery was successful and the spinal injection given was not as painful as I thought it would be (ETA: The spinal injection site is starting to bruise. Hmmmm). I thought it was the kind of pain that would elicit blood curling screams from me, but thank God it wasn't. The post-surgery spinal injection wound was even more annoying to be honest because I had to lie down most of the time and it would always rub against the injection area.

It's also very interesting how everything from my waist down just felt numb. It's even more interesting that you can't feel the surgeon cutting into your leg. So cool. I wanted to see what was going on, but there was a curtain separating me and the operation area which is understandable. But being my curious self, I asked the anesthetist if he could help me take some pictures and he did! I get to see what they did inside my leg, and the X-ray showed how it was fixed with the 6 screws and metal plate. The doctor also had to put my leg in a splint.

Ahhhh wonder what path I would have gone down if I was a doctor/surgeon. Their job is so noble in my opinion, healing the broken and helping people regain certain skills and abilities. Okay, enough why-didn't-I-become-a-doctor talk before I spiral into the vortex of over thinking about my past and future. Cue X-rays!

Before: An X-ray of my broken fibula and displaced talus bone.

After: 1 metal plate and 5 screws later.... one more long screw will be inserted which will connect my fibula and tibia together at the bottom.

Lessons I have learnt so far in this very unneccessary experience:

Lesson 1: Heavy people are more prone to serious injuries due to their weight. Because of my big boned and heavy body, a small fall can cause a big impact. Sigh, the many woes of a heavy person.

Lesson 2: Just go to a western doctor instead of a Chinese traditional doctor to save your time if you think you need to. Wasted 4 days of bed rest with herbs on my leg when all I needed was an X-ray to see what was going on.

Lesson 3: In a zombie run, if you want to follow a crowd, do so with extreme caution. Or you'll end up like me. You might as well get your life tag pulled out then risk spraining your ankle or worst - surgery and months of healing/rehabilitation.

Lesson 4: If you have screws and plates in your body, you are allowed to have a different take of the song Titanium.

Lesson 5: If you plan to do a spinal injection for surgery anesthesia, here's an important tip: go to the toilet and do ALL you need to do before the surgery. Because the anesthesia is going to last 6 hours and you don't get to pee and your bladder refuses to let you pee. I am usually called the girl with the strong bladder from my friends, because I can hold my pee and not pee for a long while (not a good thing to do btw). I made sure not to drink excessive amounts of liquids before and after the surgery so I don't need to: a) use the toilet which is like 200 miles away for me after a LEG surgery; and b) use a bedpan. But for some unexplained reason, my bladder just filled up after the surgery and the pain of not being able to pee because your body isn't letting you, is excruciating. They had to put a catheter (and I'm going to leave it at that), and the relief of letting go of your bladder after that is SO great.

Isaac and Jas dropped by with a Christmas gift and a card!

I don't know if I should be relieved this injury did not happen during my school period, or sad that this is happening during the Christmas/New Year/semester break season. This is making me have to cancel all my plans for my semester break! I was suppose to find a Christmas cookie recipe to make as Christmas gifts! Now, I can't even BUY Christmas gifts. This is going to take forever to heal, and I'm not ready to be grounded for 2-3 months. As much as I love lazing around, I may go stir crazy. Not getting to go out with my friends, eat good food, go for the usual Christmas/New Year festivities... Le sigh. Oh well, looking at the bright side, I get to save quite some money and petrol not going out.

My house is also a total hazard for whomever who has a broken body part like me. We don't have railings in toilets, the slope to the entrance of the house is uphill, the steps into my house den is high, we have a lot of tall steps on our stairs, the toilet nearest to the living room is far far away. I admit it's not going to be an easy feat to live in my house with a broken leg, therefore I'm predicting that I will have to stay in bed for a loooooong time.

The cousin and fam bought me beautiful blue flowers!

And damn, with my impending lack of exercise due to the immobility of my leg, I'm gonna be fat as hell. I was so pumped up to work out and train for my Nike Run next year! I even bought an app that could help with my training progress. Guess that's delayed and will have to wait till my next semester break. I was also going to learn to cook some dishes e.g. chicken and avocados with balsamic vinegar, spaghetti carbonara and poached salmon. I had so many plans!!!

It's okay it's okay, trying to reassure myself that I have also other hobbies and skills to explore and throw myself into without having to move my legs. For example, I've always wanted to learn French and this is my opportunity. I now also have more time to spend on quiet time with God daily. Hobbies like knitting and quilling came to mind, but I'm not meticulous, hard working and creative enough for that. I'd probably just dump the project after a few days but hey, never say never. Also, I can probably study and get a head start for next semester's subjects, no harm there.

Roasted granola with chocolate chips from Xian Jin. Thanks XJ! So addictive!

This rehabilitation process and trying to regain movement and strength to my leg, is not only a long, physically demanding and taxing phase, it also tests the mind... to not give up and sob over small defeats, but to rise over the challenges faced and stand up strong at the end of the day. I don't know when I got this emotional, but I almost cried when I almost slipped on the wet uphill slope to my house entrance, thinking how I can't do simple things like this and havivng to trouble my already tired family members just to get things done for me.

Pray for me, as I go through this whole new experience that I have not explored. You'll probably be seeing me blog more often because I have left this blog abandoned for far too long! I'd also like to help people in the same situation as me as I wasn't informed enough about how to handle things like this. You kinda gotta learn along the way and see how it goes, like life. More updates on my leg next time!

Life With A Sprained Ankle

(Update: My ankle is not sprained, it's fractured. Not everything in this post is completely irrelevant though. New post about my fractured leg)

Now that I'm in bed rest, I have more time for blogging lol.

I always thought that ankle-spraining was no big deal. I sprained my ankle a few times (very very minor though) and still could continue exercising after.

However, I was not at all prepared for this.

During the Run For Your Life Malaysia, I sprained my ankle. Apparently people took the term 'Run For Your Life' very literally and seriously. 

It was during a zombie wave and there were tons of zombies, eagerly wanting to pull out life tags. I followed a big group. Panic and fear made people stumble and then I tripped over them because I didn't have enough time to dodge or avoid the human heap - thus leading to a sprained ankle.

It almost felt weird because the pain and shock from falling was not as huge as one thing: Seeing my feet twisted 90 degrees to the left. It was like something out of a horror movies or American Horror Story! I was so shocked I didn't feel pain, yet. Of course when you see something like that happening to your leg (or at least for me), it quickly registers in your brain that something is clearly wrong and it must be fixed. So I twisted it back easily, because my joints felt like jelly. I could easily twist my leg back to the left completely if I wanted to, it was terrifying. And then, the pain comes in.

And it hurt. Some organisers and a zombie helped me up and laid me down on a safer place on the side. Promptly after that, another person was put beside me for the same problem: sprained ankle. Her name was Crab and she was such a friendly person! Without her, I would've been very lonely the entire time from the field to the medic tent.

We look happy, but trust me, we are not.

Anyways, I had to do the usual things like bandaging and icing. Elevating the leg even hurt. Everything hurt. But then again my tolerance for pain wasn't very high. So my parents got a wheelchair and a pair of crutches for me to help with going from one place to another (thanks church!).

And with my luck, OF COURSE the Ohhsome Fest and bowling with Wong Fu and David was on that night itself and the next day. The chinese traditional doctor guy told me not to and I needed to rest, but this was a once in a lifetime thing! I was determined to go, so I went.

Reached Avenue K after a long, painful process of getting into the car, and there was no ramp (which I later found out was on the other side of the entrance ugh -.-), and I THINK I twisted my ankle AGAIN. My swollen ankle was in mid-air and with the forward movement of my hop, the unhealed leg somehow slightly twisted again and I felt intense pain. Probably because my joints weren't healed and were still jelly-like. Sigh. We should probably just implement ramps everywhere. The guards didn't even bother to inform us that there was a ramp on the other side!

Also, why do people make the doors of the toilets for people with physical difficulties the kind where there's a weight that closes the door? How are people gonna push the door open when both our hands are trying to push ourselves forward into the toilet?? Well thank God for kind people who offered to open the door for me though.

At the same time, my mouth felt drier than usual the whole time I wasn't even sure why. Which meant I had to drink more water. Which also meant then the frequency of my toilet going increases. With my leg, it was SO troublesome, painful and inconvenient to just push myself up the wheelchair or whichever surface I was on to place my derrière on the toilet bowl. Thank God they provided toilets for people with physical difficulty with railings that I could hold on to for leverage. From then on, I realised I would have to torture myself to go to the toilet.

Rolling around the mall in a wheelchair, I felt as if some people were looking at me, trying to figure out what poor tragedy I stumbled upon. How did I know? Because I knew I would've done the same.

The pain is horrible though. Even when my leg was at rest, there was still that throbbing pain that threatened to become an even more intense pain if I moved my leg just a little bit. Every single second - it hurt. When I move from a certain location to another and had to lift my leg, it hurt so bad. It's as if my swollen ankle had a weight tied on it all the time. Even gravity makes it hurt. 

And once you stay at a place, you kinda stay there forever (unless you're ready for more pain from moving to another location). If you don't have someone to help you take stuff, then man good luck. I am lucky because I have my relatives and family who help me once in a while :) It's difficult to go the toilet, difficult to get in and out of the car, difficult to just MOVE your leg from one orientation to another... the inconvenience of it all... I have experimented with 5 different leg positions, because my leg gets painful after awhile on each position so I always switch it up.

Over here, we have the prop your leg over another to elevate your foot. Note: It hurts when you lift it up so high. At least to me cause it feels like my foot is gonna twist any time. And your leg gets tired.

This one is the most normal leg position. But it doesn't elevate your leg, and the heel gets a little painful after awhile because of the swelling on the bottom.

This one is for when all the other leg positions get tiring and painful, and you want to just not touch the heel for awhile, so you prop your foot's base on the flat surface. Also gets tired because you're kinda resting your whole leg on it so that's painful too.

This one helps to elevate your foot. But hell, this one gets uncomfortable and painful after awhile because of the weight it puts on the heel, and my heel hurts.

I think this one is the most recommended leg position. I can stay in this position the longest, and it's the most comfortable one among the rest. It's the same as the previous one, but with a bolster underneath my hamstrings area to support the weight.

I wish I had one of those tall loops where you can put your leg in the hole and helps elevate it without touching any part of your foot. Sigh.

Also thank God for Sarah! She was my lifesaver and pushed me everywhere I needed to go and took care of me during, before and after the Ohhsome Fest. Her parents helped me get to the front entrance of the mall and waited with me till my dad came. Everything was made easier cause of them. A THOUSAND THANK YOUS!

One thing I did appreciate also, was strangers helping me by holding the doors open for me, asked me if I needed help with pushing my wheelchair, and moving chairs away to make way for my wheelchair. There is hope for humanity! And thank you to the security guards and organizers who helped carry me up steps because well I couldn't roll myself up steps. I know I'm heavy. Also strangers giving you their awesome spot at the very front in an event because you're too low to see anything. Thank you kind strangers!

Also hopping around and lifting your left leg in the air to avoid from being hit by all kinds of things also builds leg muscles. Not joking, it's super tiring. And pushing yourself forward? Total arm exercise. I've been doing so much hopping, it makes me so tired. Also since you can't use your leg as leverage to get up, you have to kinda do a partial sit up and then push yourself up. My core honestly hurts right now. I feel like I'm exercising lol.

And being able to park at the parking for disabled people near the entrance to the mall! No more looking for parkings lol.

2-3 days in, and I don't think the swelling is going down nor is the pain subsiding. Is that bad? Am I suppose to get it x-rayed or checked out by a western doctor. Idk. We'll find out soon because I'm going to the chinese traditional doctor tomorrow to change the bandage and see how my ankle's doing. Hopefully it's getting better because Christmas is coming! Not only that, I've made plans with friends for this week and next, and it's so sad to have to postpone them or cancel them. And I also have friends leaving the country very soon, and if I don't get to hang out with them at least once before they leave because of this injury, I will be devastated and sorely disappointed.

Idk if I'm being a wimp, but this sprained ankle thing is really painful and troublesome. It doesn't look like a big deal to other people, but man to me it's really something else. Now, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get downstairs and into the car tomorrow with the least amount of pain and stress put on my foot.... hmm.